Reality Dreams

Ever have one of those dreams that you are so involved in that in those first waking moments you cannot differentiate between reality and dreams? I had one of those last night. I was so alive in this dream that it took some convincing myself that it wasn't true.

In a nutshell...I was in a store shopping. Because I purchased something, my name was entered in a draw. Later (about a week in dream life) I received a phone call saying I had won a Caribbean Cruise from this draw. Of course I was very excited and the first thing I asked was "do I get to bring someone?" Isn't it a given that when you win a trip somewhere you always get to bring a friend?? The answer was a big fat, "NO!"

I couldn't believe it and spent some time whining about that. Continuing in the plot, I met up with a group of people that I knew from my not so distant past who were also going on this cruise. However, they worked long and hard to save enough money to buy their tickets. They were all paired up with traveling buddies and roommates and there was clearly no room for me. I was definitely the third or fifth wheel.

Why am I sharing this silly story with you? I guess because I was left with a decision to make. My dream ended with no conclusion, almost like a 'to be continued..."

All throughout the dream it was a sure thing, I was going, I was excited. But then when the realization struck that I had to go alone and be alone I contemplated giving up my prize. As excited as I was at the possibility, the fact that I had to experience it alone made it lose its luster. I would have to be in a room by myself, eat meals by myself, dance the night away by myself, enjoy scenery and tourist attractions...by myself. Sure I could meet people there, but everyone else would be with friends, mates or family leaving little room for someone who came with no one.

The thoughts of this really upset me and I was willing to give up my prize because I wasn't allowed to share it.

Here is where I unwilling had to get up, leave the dream and enter reality once again, without having made a final decision. And, for a few moments this morning I actually thought I had won a cruise.

Thinking about it now I know I would give it up. I love community and relationships and could not bear life without it. Without you.

Thank God for providing me with family and friends to share the experiences of life together.


Have I gone COMPLETELY MAD?