Over the past 2 yrs I have heard the notion of 'bestfriend' referred to by adults a total of 3 times. I have heard reference being made to or about one's BF and twice I've been introduced to someone's BF.
And I ask, "what the heck?" What is the role of a BF when you are all grown up? Is it the person you hang out with the most, the one you talk with frequently and maybe even confide in?
Then I got to thinking, "do I have a BF?" If not, why not, and what am I missing out on? Maybe I have what others consider a BF but I just haven't thought about it nor would I be as bold as to call someone that...what if it wasn't a mutual feeling? Ooh...snap!
The fact that I have heard the reference a mere 3 times (each stand out vividly in my mind), tells me that BFs are rare and precious.
Sometimes I assume that everyone is like me. Lots of friends, hang with a good variety, have fun with many, but no real soul-mate. If this (having no real soul-mate) is in fact the case, I may sulk and question and complain. I could blame it on the fact that I move around, or that I am a pastor or I could point all fingers at myself and confess to being a lousy friend.
So I ask, "what are the qualities of a BF? Is it as rare as I am perceiving it to be? Do you have one?"
Monday, March 13, 2006
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13 comments:
Actually yes I do have one....my husband. I believe that the reason why so few adults have a best friend is because once they get married, they realize that THIS is the person that they can't live with out. The person they WANT to confide in everyday.
My sister and I are very close too and we always say that we are each other's best friend, but again - I tell my husband more than I tell her (and I believe she does the same with her husband). I think it's just the circle of life. Kids have best friends and adults have souses:)
But what about adults who are not married? Or who never get married?
I've been thinking a lot about best friends lately too. I'll let you know what I think, when I figure it out.
I would have to agree...my husband is definatly my best friend. Since moving away I haven't had a close best friend who is a girl - it's really had to start that kind of friendship if you move around a lot I think , I'm not sure why that is. When I had to choose 3 bridesmaids for my wedding it was the toughest thing for me because I'm not really close with anyone. Your blog really made me think!
My hubby is also my bf. I can tell him anything and he knows I will always be there for him and supppost him in whatever he does.
i think it's uber-important to have close female friends. when i get married, my husband will be the closest person to me . . . but i don't imagine he'll meet all my needs completely, what with not being God, and all. i will continue to need female friends.
when we hit snags in our marriage, as is probably inevitable, there will be no one to run to if i haven't already invested in close relationships with women. and, fyi, it's kind of awkward to try to foster a new friendship while you're in crisis mode.
besides that, i think sisterhood has a lot to offer, and focussing solely on your husband - to the exclusion of other friendships - can put stress on marriage. i've noticed that most guys make a point of still having close friends after marriage . . . maybe we should learn something from them.
I think your "best friend" is the one you can be yourself with-no pretences, no games, no secrets. It's the one person who knows all about you and loves you just the same (warts & all, so to speak)I know that for you, Steve fills that role, as you do for him. I see that when you are together. I believe you only need one best friend, even if it happens to be your spouse, as long as you have a few close friends who enjoy the same things you do(that may not necessarily appeal to your spouse (like chic flicks & scrapbooking)and with whom you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings. Those of us who have no spouse, need to have at least one person who we feel a bond with, whether it's someone of the same or opposite sex. Those of us who know Jesus personally have one best friend for sure and if there is also an earthly best friend, well that's a bonus!!
Well... interesting questions you have here. This hits a soft spot for me! Best friends.... well I love my hubby dearly and in some ways he is my best friend but girls and guys think differently and once you have been married for a while and had kids you will realize the importance of a good girlfriend you can vent to. I think Leslie that people are so different... some have many friends and others have only very few but very close friends. My personal experience: I don't have alot of friends... I have a few very close friends whom I would do absolutly anything for. My best friend..... was a lady who died of breast cancer Aug of 2001. I say my best friend because of that word you used 'soul mate' she was someone I knew only for a short time (I only knew her for about 2 years) but we had an undescribable connection! So much so that before she died she said to me "I can't believe this...I feel like I have been looking for you for my whole life.... and now I have finally found you... I am so sad I have to leave you so soon!" I don't have a female best friend now...it's not something you look for or something you really miss out on.. but if you are blessed to find someone in your life who 'leaves footprints in your heart' then you are just plain lucky I guess. (sorry it's so long)
I had a best friend but miles split us apart and we're still friends but too far, now. My hubby is my best friend. While many think you must have a close female friend, I don't... and I don't see the need for it but having one would be nice - not having one is no issue for me tho. I just haven't found one. To be a BF is someone super close, closer than your average friend. One who is there thru thick and thin, one you can trust... one you would do almost anything for... one you would tell things you would tell your other friends, etc.
wouldn't tell. ugh i have some typos up there. sorry
I don't think of BF as singular like I did growing up on the playground.
I have a "best friend" who lives 3 hours away that I only see a few times a year - but through e-mail and phone calls we spur each other on. She's the one I call when I need encouraged or inspired.
I have a "best friend" I go to for fun. We laugh and goof off - there's a freedom and joy there.
I have a "best friend" that lives life with me. She knows my everyday moments rather than just the big Moments. We journey regularly together.
I have my hubby, my sister, my mom who also meet needs no one else can.
I think for me as an adult I've learned that "best friend" refers not to the best of all my friends - but the best at meeting the needs in at least one area of my life, so therefore I can have a multiple number.
Friends are so good for the soul.
another thought: like a mentor or a husband, a best friend isn't something you can find my searching. i think you pray and then they kinda fall in your lap and you have to recognize them for who they are. they're not available in the friend aisle of the local grocery store, or anything.
I think I may have been one of the people that introduced you to her best friend recently. We have been BF for about 20 years. She's the person that calls when I'm having a bad day out of the blue and vice versa. We have been kindred spirits for a long time, some one I can talk to about anything and everything. We actually call ourselves sisters at times. We've taken care of each others children. we've cried, laughed, prayed, knit, shared a close friendship and lots of tea together for long long time. When your'e needing a girl day a best friend is the person you want to be with, in our case call, cause we are three provinces away. Now I say all that about my best girl friend but My hubby is also my very best friend, however girls need other girls to knit chat and have tea with. My hubby is great but he doesn't knit too well hahaha.
anyway Les, it was nice seeing you again, the conference was great. lets try to keep in touch from now on. I'm in the dispo. drop me a note. Love to all.
Thanks for the comment D ;)
It was good to re-connect.
Yes, you were one of those people.
I envy what you have.
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