Alone Together or Together Alone

Over the past year or so, I have been doing a lot of soul digging. I've been asking myself tough questions and exploring my mixed bag of emotions.

What I have discovered is nothing new but a constant reminder of a God-given need, community.
For various reasons community is not where I want or need it to be. I often feel that I am a facilitator of community but am not necessarily a part of the community.

I don't intend to go on with my thoughts on this here and now, but I have been thinking about the phrase "alone together" (which I stole from 'About a Boy'). If I felt I was alone together I would be content, happy, actually thrilled! Why? Because the fact of the matter is life takes us in all different directions and in many cases (like mine) seperates families by many miles. And, although that can be tough it can be made right and actually okay, when you have community to fill those holes. Several people can be 'alone' yet they are together in community so not really alone at all.

Then I got to thinking of the times in my life when I have felt "together alone" and I know I am not the only one. I have experienced the feeling of being surrounded by people (together) yet very alone. I suspect that several people in groups of so called community actually feel lonely. As a result many are together alone. This is a def sucky feeling.

I really don't know why I am sharing these thoughts other than for my own processing. Trying to figure out how to move beyond fun and friendliness to soulful, sacrifcial community. Trying to figure out if I have to constantly put myself out there with awkward effort, or if community will be offered with open arms, welcoming the stranger yet finding an old friend. Wondering if it can be forced/pursued or if it happens naturally.

So, in processing I have decided I have many awesome opportunities. I am all about potential. Among other things, I have committed to give one morning a week to volunteer at the boys school, knowing this is a great way to connect with other moms.

I am committed to the 'slow-go' of the journey but sometimes the dream of the harvest just gets in the way of the planting, watering, waiting and growing.

NEXT STEPS: find some way to shorten the 'to-do list' which often dictates my life and time, in order to make more room for the 'to-be-with list'. Yes! Love it!